Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sax. Now, Sax has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sax. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sax since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sax at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sax has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sax." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sax at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on.
When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sax. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sax. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sax keeps me awake at night. " The clerk said, "Me too!" One day I entered Sax in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sax in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sax on TV." He called me a show off. When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sax before I was married but Sax left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Same here!" Last night Sax ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sax." My case comes up next Thursday. Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sax has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I can't live any longer being so lonely." and the doctor said, " Look mister, you should understand that sax isn't a man's best friend so go get yourself a dog."
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